The real and the reel

Ha!
Has been a long time since I posted anything on the site. Several things happening, and not one intelligent thought comes to mind!
I would settle for funny, but that escapes me as well!

For one, I thought of writing about things that are possible only in films. I got as far as two points, but they do illustrate an important point in life- I forget which one momentarily!

1. The love sleeping pose: OK- This is by far the most ridiculous thing ever. If you notice "couples in love" in movies, they sleep facing each other (which in itself is not so bad) and also wake up in the exact same pose. Now, try and replicate that at home- always fails!
So I want to try this once, cos we always sleep with our backs facing each other. Firstly, I try to sleep facing my husband, with my head near his shoulder. He groans, "Get your hair out of my face!" Determined to be the "couple in love", I then try to brush my hair back and somehow find a corner where I can stick my face in. "Aw!" That was me, who had dashed againt the most pointed part of my husband's elbow, which was somewhere in the vicinity. I finally find a halfway decent pose where it seems like we can stand each other, and I feel hot breath on my eyes. And it seems like I'm inhaling all the carbon di-oxide my husband is spewing and vice versa.
In about half an hour, I feel out of breath and maybe I've inhaled too much CO2, I think. My head starts to spin, and my eyeballs feel like they're about to move out of the house! So, of course, the "pose" had to be given up. We have now returned to our original pose, but I'm waiting for the day my husband hands me a divorce notice!

2. The elevator myth: Has the elevator ever appeared in less than a minute? Of course, movie scenes and chases often show the elevator as coming right up. Has that ever happened ever? I'm positive that elevators have an inbuilt technology where they are programmed to respond with a time delay.
Have you also noticed that whenever you're in a hurry and have certainly pressed the appropriate button, the only elevator that "condescends" (pls you have to forgive the pun) to stop at your floor isn't going in the same direction as you aspire to? I think those are just robots placed by the selfsame elevator technologists. If you notice, they always say, "Going up/down" in a monotone, the voice you would imagine robots would have.
Now, an inquisitive mind may ask, "Why all this? Why O why?" Indeed, the same reason that Microsoft came up with Windows 2000 with a lot of bugs, so that we may upgrade to Windows XP, when it is released. There is some sort of elevator technology waiting to be unleashed, but they want to wait for the whole world to get elevatorized, so that thay can make a ton of profit! And remember where you heard it first!

So that's as far as I got. Of course, one other thing in Desi movies (especially) that piques me is the portrayal of the college hero.When I went to college, there were two kinds of people- ones that were good in studies, and ones that were good in sports.

So studious were studious and sporty were sporty and the twain didn't often meet. These college "heroes" in movies, however, are good in both, which in itself is not impossible, I agree. Add to that singing, dancing, and girl magnet, and more often than not, rich as well, then you have something just a tad unreal. And have you ever seen the soccer team of the hero's college? He, of course, plays in all the positions, takes the ball from the opponent, dribbles it all the way to the goal and scores! Even the worst coach will know this is not good teamplay, the other 10 might as well not exist (OK, maybe they needed the goalkeeper)!

How about showing the hero as making the important play, but kicking to his teammate, who strikes? Or the other way around, like it is in REAL LIFE sports? And is it even imaginable to handle a spoilt brat girlfriend, a soccer career, topping the exams, while taking on the slimiest politician in town? Even if you're SRK?

Just think about a film with the average kid as the protagonist- one who is average in studies, fails at relationships and is the substitute in the soccer team. One day, he is substituted during a game and scores a goal! But then, who wants to see real life on screen, eh?